Giving Yourself and Others Grace
Every New Year’s, instead of making a traditional resolution (you know, the kind that usually fades by February), I pick a theme for my year—a single word or short phrase to guide me. In the past, I’ve had themes like “Live with Intention,” “Execution,” and “Live Frugally.”
For 2025, my word is Grace—as in, grace for myself and grace for others. And now that it’s somehow already November (seriously, how did that happen?!), I’m taking a little check-in moment to see how I’ve done living it out.
But before we dive into that, let’s pause for a second—what does it actually mean to give grace to yourself and to others? We hear the word all the time in church, worship songs, and Scripture, but what does it look like in real, everyday life?
The Bible defines grace as “unmerited favor”—God’s loving kindness toward us that we could never earn (Ephesians 2:8-9).
But grace isn’t just something we receive; it’s also something we’re called to extend—to others and to ourselves, which is much more difficult in actual practice than it appears.
If you can pull it off and you can live from a place of grace, everything changes: how we see God, how we treat others, and how we speak to ourselves…now that’s a tricky one! At least for me!
So, to pull it off, here’s what I recommend:
1. Remember the Source of Grace
Before we can give grace, we have to understand where it comes from. Grace is NOT a personality trait or a skill to develop—it flows from God’s character.
“From His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” – John 1:16
When we remember that we are constantly covered by grace, it feels easier to do, and we’re more willing to let that same grace overflow into the lives of others.
* It starts with gratitude: pausing daily to thank God for His forgiveness, patience, and mercy.
2. Give Grace to Yourself
Sometimes we can quickly offer grace to others, but when it comes to ourselves, maybe not so much. I get it, this is me for real. The mean girl tape recorder in my head says the meanest things; things I would never say to or about anyone else-- All. Day. Long. We replay mistakes, dwell on guilt, and speak to ourselves in ways God never would.
But if God has already forgiven you, who are you to withhold that forgiveness from yourself?
Giving yourself biblical grace means:
· Accepting God’s forgiveness instead of trying to earn it.
· Letting go of perfectionism and trusting that God is still working in your weakness
· Replacing self-criticism with truth—speak Scripture over your heart instead of shame.
Grace says, You are NOT defined by your worst moment(s). You’re defined by God’s love and redemption.
3. Extend Grace to Others
Grace toward others can be hard. People disappoint, hurt, or frustrate us. But grace doesn’t excuse sin—it simply chooses compassion over condemnation. After my worst year, my catch phrase was, “Watch Out! I have a short fuse and no filter!”
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32
To show grace means to:
· Listen before judging.
· Forgive, even when they don’t apologize.
· Speak gently when you could speak harshly.
· Pray for those who wrong you, asking God to heal both hearts.
When we extend grace, we reflect the heart of Jesus—the One who looked at us in our sin and chose mercy instead of wrath.
4. Live Grace Out Loud
Grace isn’t passive. It’s an active, daily choice. It shapes how we respond in traffic, how we parent, how we handle conflict, and even how we post online. Grace makes room for others to grow and for us to be unfinished.
Ask yourself each morning:
· How can I show grace in my words today?
· Where do I need to receive God’s grace more fully?
· Who might need to see Christ’s grace through me?
So, how have I done in 2025 when it comes to giving grace to myself and everyone else? Honestly? Not too shabby! I’ve been way more mindful about how I talk to myself and a lot more patient with people who, let’s just say, test my sanctification.
Now, full disclosure—it hasn’t been all smooth sailing. I’m still human, and some days, grace feels more like a goal than a given. But hey, progress is progress, right? And you know what? I’m proud of that. Look at me, actually giving myself grace!
Call to Action:
· Take time every day to be thankful to God for giving us His Grace
· Remind yourself, every day if you have to: You are NOT defined by your worst moment(s). You’re defined by God’s love and redemption.
· Remember that when we extend grace to others, we reflect the heart of Jesus.
· Ask yourself and God, how can I walk in grace today?